Damn it.

Sigh. Jason Todd who I should have given the codename idiot, has decided to go off by himself, and kill all the gangs in Gotham by putting them in a gang war. He got in a fight with Robin, and then got his dumb ass thrown in jail.

We were fine with letting the locals handle it until someone broke him out. My Guess is this someone is a teenager with an unnatural hair color, a cheerleader attitude, and superpowers.

Now it's our problem Since " SHIELD agent tries to become crime lord is a bad enough headline... but the fact that he's magically vanished. Puts suspicions on us. I really don’t want to waste a lot of time, and manpower on putting him behind bars, but I have to wonder if he's hiding with his girlfriend's family.

Saiyans ugh, and Mirai just quit, so he probably won't talk sense into his insane father. Sigh I might as well get this over with. I get a few super powered agents together, and take a transport to Capsule Corp.

I don't want a fight with 'em. But well they like to fight. I bring Agent Goten along maybe he can talk to 'em.

We land outside. I find, short, and angry waiting on us.


“What the hell do you want one eye?" He challenges.

“Jason Todd." I reply

One of his eyebrows goes up. “Had no idea you swung that way old man."

“Ha-ha you're a riot, is your daughter hiding him here?" I ask.

“She’s not here." He answers gruffly.

“Mind if we search your compound?"

He gives me a dark look. “When you say it like that you make me sound like a cult leader. But yes I do mind. I don't want you soldier boys stealing my wife's inventions. Also tell your telepaths to get out of my head. "

“Sir." One of the aforementioned telepaths yelled in my brain. Damn that's going to be a headache. “He’s resisting our probes seems he has some telepathy himself."

Of course he does, he seems to have every other power under the sun. “Scan the place for Todd.” I order.

“He was here, but no longer."

“Where’s the girl?" I query.

Instead of a telepath a tech back at the Helicarrier calls in. " We've found Todd's girlfriend she's fighting some members of the Society of Super villains. From what we can get it looks like Batgirl is after Deathstroke the Terminator."

Well it looks like that's that. I know mighty midget or his kids won't give me anything useful. Especially after the whole Civil War. Instead of picking a fight I leave. Back at the Helicarrier, I call Natasha.

“You wanted to see sir?" She purrs.

“Not for that." I admonish "I want you to hunt down Todd, and if you can bring him in."

“if I can't" She asks.

“Well he has died before... We never should have registered that psycho. Now we fix our mistake."

I've found the best anwer.

Since the Skrull Invasion I’ve had the best excuse for every tough question they ask in this presidential campaign I'll show you at this Press Conference.


“Mr. Stark About the reports of finding you dead in your own vomit?" Asks one reporter.

" Skrull." I answer.

“And all the times you faked your death?" Another one asks.

I smile. "Skrulls."

“And the time you wiped out everyone's memory that you were Iron Man?"

" Skrull." I respond. This answer is so all encompassing that it works for angry super powered girlfriends.

Another reporter stands up. “Clark Kent Daily Planet. How would you propose to stimulate the economy, if elected?"

Damn I can't answer this with Skrulls. I start to stammer when Hank Pym runs out with no shirt on yelling. “The ants are rebelling! Save yourselves!" he rolls around insanely for a few minutes until I call off the press conference.

Now I remember why I keep Hank around. His antics are a good distraction. Now if I can convince that the palm tree outside the SHIELD Compound Hawaii is not evil.

Fightclub

I remember the feel of her body. As I dream I know I'm way below her station. She's a princess; yeah her world died a long time ago, when her father was young. Still I'm just some street kid.

Yeah I was adopted by a rich guy and dressed like some kind of Robin Hood wannabe. But still I'm dating way below this girl. I'm a street rat pure and simple. And the Aladdin thing ain't gonna happen this time she's the one with the magic ring, and lamp.

Hey I knew what I got into when I got into this, I knew one day she'd figure out I wasn't good enough for her and leave. Hey I know it, and have just decided to memorize everything about her.

While I was dreaming about her gasping, and getting closer to finishing. I’m awoke rudely out of my dream of my hot girlfriend for right now, to see the horrifying face of Granny Goodness.

" Gah!"

“You are a naughty one Red Hood. You won't take the drugs Granny gave you to show her love... nor will you break to her will like the others..."


“It may have something to do with the fact that you won't stop wearing that damn Bikini... disgusting. Put on a tent or something."

“I’ll teach you to smart off to Granny. Granny will show you what happens to naughty boys. "

I wish she'd quit using the word "naughty" that's the word Vella uses before... never mind. First she made me fight this freak monster in a Batman suit.

“Oh God what are you supposed to be?"

Whatever his answer was is drowned out by the roar of the crowd. I dodge his punches, and throw several batarangs. “You shouldn't have put that assassin together with the saiyan! She's a killer! She now can take over the world because she's bad."

Okay this guy pissed me off two ways, first he confused me with Tim, and second he insulted my little sister. The dumbest thing the Dark Side Club did was let me keep my Adamantium crowbar. I dodge around slamming him over and over with it when I get a shot.

After the freak is crippled, and crying. I snort. “The only killer in the Bat-family is me. Lemme show you." All those losers in the audience cheer for me to finish it. “Screw you all! I only kill for justice and not the girl I used to live with! Nothing happened there despite all the rumors!"

“No one believes that!" Someone shouts.

While I'm distracted someone kicks me in the face. I spit out, blood and when my eyes clear I see.... “Tim? What the hell?"

“Must prove love to Granny."

I roll my eyes. “You got drugged; you know you don’t want any of this you D and D nerd." As he punched me in the jaw seems like he did, you know I've been trying not to plaster his brains all over the walls. But after he tried to kick me in the crotch again while yelling "failure!"

Maybe I shouldn't have done this.



A few minutes later a green light, fills the room. An Aqua colored hair girl jumps on me. While another one with in an eggplant colored hood threatens to castrate me. Then she runs to Tim and starts babying him stupid Spoiler.

While Vella grabs on to me making it hard to breathe. the next minute, her brother, and my sister, tell us to watch out, when a bunch of teenagers attack I get some kid called Patriot, while the others fight some teenagers I don't know.


After a huge brawl we get them to stop then some old bald dude with a cane comes up “You will pay Legacy you will pay in the Crisis."

Then he turns into...

Shit! Darkseid! But instead of killing us all he vanishes. We get all the other teens out of out of their while Vincent yelps “Hey Hulking watch the hands!"

Batgirl growls “No! Mine!" At the green dude. She points at the half saiyan boy. Meanwhile a miracle of miracles happened. Some blonde girl called Stature gave Inertia a phone number saying it's from “Someone who thinks he's cute."

Though it would be hilarious if it's Hulking. Spoiler Screams " Tim!!! Tim!!!! Where is he? Where did he go?"

Oh great a highly trained Robin running around on high on goof balls. That sucks.